girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
