I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
