you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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