Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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