I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
