why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i barfeds in our rink
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
