This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
