Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
