we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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