ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
