Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize