so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize