The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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