Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
