Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
