we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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