Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
