guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
