my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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