just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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