eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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