so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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