Cold hands, warm shart.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
