When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
