We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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