Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Can I color on your dick again?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
