If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
