it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
