my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
