question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Congratulations! We have a period
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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