I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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