; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
