I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
