my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
