Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
