Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
