i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
