Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
