I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
