i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I need to wash the frat house off of me
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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