Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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