having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
