Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
not ubering you a puppy
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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