you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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