New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
