Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
