How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
