Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
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