I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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