I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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