before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize