If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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