apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
