I just threw up on my dentist
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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