so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
