I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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