guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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