Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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