i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
