I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
