no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
