I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
