so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize