You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
