Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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