as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
