OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
