why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
