so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
