If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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