Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
