where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I think i peed on brittanys purse
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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