Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
