I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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