Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
