i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
