dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
