Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
