THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
