i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
