I am in a vortex of obligation.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
