may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
