i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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