i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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