i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
