Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
