Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
where am i from again
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
