You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
