I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
