There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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