but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
