i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
