what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
